What is a memoir?

If you look up “memoir” in the dictionary, you’ll find that memoir and autobiography can be used interchangeably. However, in modern publishing, the memoir genre is quite specific. While an autobiography typically recounts the author’s life from childhood on, in chronological order, the memoirist chooses a single idea and tells the story through that lens. For example, Cheryl Strayed walks the Pacific Coast Trail in “Wild” and wrestles with her troubled past. In “The Glass Castle,” Jeannette Walls asks whether children of mentally ill parents can go on to live successful and happy lives.

Don’t:

Confuse Memoir with Autobiography.

Unless you’re a celebrity or a public figure, the chances are no one is going to have much interest in your life story. And to be honest, even celebrities would do well to put a compelling idea at the heart of their story rather than recording the facts of their existence. If you can shine light on an important idea, and use a story to illustrate your point, you might have a best-seller on your hands.

Make your Readers suffer.

I often tell my writers, “Life is hard. Tell me something I don’t know.” Most of us struggle with desperate conflict at one time or another. What the Reader wants from you is your story of how you triumphed over it. What did you do to achieve the amazing life you have today?

Limit yourself to chronological order.

Memory is a funny thing. While we go about our daily routine, unsuspecting, a particular sight or sound or even smell might trigger a memory. These thoughts seem to come out of nowhere, but I posit they’re not random. We remember things for a reason. Since memory occurs that way, it’s possible to create a composition of stories that embody the big idea of your story. Think of it as a collage with various elements which, taken as a whole, tell a compelling story.

Seize this opportunity to take revenge

In Story, every protagonist has an antagonist. And so it is in life. Like all humans everywhere, you probably have one or two people (at least!) who stood in your way. Who hurt your feelings. Who made you doubt yourself. But the bad guy is only a small part of your life story. The real juice comes from your indomitable strength and your journey toward success. No one can hold you back.

Take Yourself too Seriously

Every protagonist makes mistakes. As the protagonist of your own life story, you’ve made plenty. Don’t be afraid to show your flaws and foibles. It will make the reader fall in love with you.

Do:

Entertain. Beware the misery memoir. Just because you’ve suffered, it doesn’t mean your reader wants to. In addition, make sure you’re not writing a self-help guide. Your book may deliver a profound message, but you still want to entertain the reader.

Allow yourself to play with time.

As we said before, memory is a funny thing. Play around with different ideas of where to start your story (whatever you do, don’t limit yourself to starting at the beginning!). You could start on a climactic scene, then show the reader all the events that lead up to that particular moment. You could start at the end and tell the whole story in flashback. The possibilities are endless.

Choose a most difficult time in your life.

What’s the worst thing that ever happened to you? What did you do about it? This approach makes sense when you want to create an experience for your Reader with High Highs and Low Lows. When you center your work on a traumatic event, you’ve won half the battle. Now all you have to do is create the antidote to the trauma—write all the wonderful things life has brought you. Remember—as low as your lowest moment: that’s how high your high has to be.

Remember that the Protagonist Drives the Story.

That’s you. It’s not about what happens to you, it’s what you do about it that matters. Make sure your protagonist is the engine in every scene.

Tell the story of your life today, having gone through a trying time.

On this day, in the present, you live a great life. You survived! Tell us about a typical day. How is your life different from what it was at its low point? Share with us how well things have worked out for you.

Celebrate your allies.

When we write out life story, and we remember all those mean things the bad guys did to us, it’s easy to forget the good guys. All of us have mentors and allies. Make sure to include them in your story. Embrace gratitude for the angels in your life.

Make us laugh.

Life is hard. Give us something to smile about if you can.

I want to hear your story. Send me an email with your writing goals! Sign up for my newsletter! Whatever you do, keep writing. The world needs your story.